Shlonkom Bakazay?

In a move to surely thrill people the world over, President Hamid Karzai shows off Afghanistan's "Heroin-Brown Revolution" to reporters and postpones elections until September during a joint press conference with Condoleeza Rice. When asked for clarification, Ms. Rice said: "I hope I didn't break the story." It turns out, one of the world's newest democracies will not be able to provide enough of the newly trademarked "Heroin-Brown" indelible ink to the thousands of polling stations throughout the country due to continued rampant lawlessness and feuding warlords with heavily armed militias. On the lighter side of things, Karzai said he was inspired so much by recent elections in Iraq and the numerous fresh addictions of many of his compatriots that he insisted on having the indelible ink be "Heroin-Brown" in color. "It's worth postponing the elections. It's like a Scarlet Letter, but good." Karzai exclaimed further with pride: "Because 60 percent of the economy in Afghanistan is based on illegal Heroin trade, we must dedicate these elections to H. Without the illegal drug trade my people would be starving." Eyewitnesses noticed his eyes welling up with tears during this poignant moment.